


He's Not Me

by flavourless_fiction



Series: Worth More [4]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Astral Plane, Begging, Comfort, Crying, Features Clone Shiro and Real Shiro, Kinktober 2018, M/M, Miscommunication, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-02
Updated: 2018-10-02
Packaged: 2019-07-23 23:10:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16168700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flavourless_fiction/pseuds/flavourless_fiction
Summary: There were plenty of things Lance thought would never happen to him or that he'd never do. Shiro speaking to him in the Astral Plane whilst they were together in the head of the Black Lion was probably the biggest shock of them all.





	He's Not Me

**Author's Note:**

> Also is Day 2 for Kinktober, prompt fill being begging.

There were things that Lance thought he would never do. Although of late he’d certainly been doing a fair few of said things, this was something he truly never thought would happen. Naked, in the Black Lion, eyes squeezed shut, bent over, gripping the back of the pilot’s seat as Shiro fucked him. It hadn’t been planned, simply a case of right place right time.

Well that wasn’t quite true, they’d simply been walking, talking…  _ flirting.  _ One joke had lead to another and then Lance found himself in the position he was in now. If Lance didn’t know any better he would say this was happening too often. However, it distracted them both from their own issues, Lance’s frustrations and Shiro’s headaches. Well at least Shiro claimed they helped but he didn’t know if it was just what he said to make him feel better.

Shiro was so slow in his movements, seeming to savour every movement between the two of them. He had a knack for getting a side out of Lance that he wasn’t sure he was comfortable with, it was so vulnerable even when they weren’t speaking, sitting around playing Monsters and Mana and all Lance wanted was some sort of approval even though he wouldn’t admit it.

When they were alone it mostly ended up being sexual but it was a sense of approval, even if a part of him craved more. Shiro was a leader but he didn’t often come across as the warmest of people, even when he claimed that his feelings, whatever they might be, were genuine.

The gentle grunts that come from Shiro make Lance less concerned about his own volume, making small noises any time he angles his hips just right. The hands at his hips sliding forward, around his waist and chest as he pulled Lance upwards, taking the hint and tilting his head towards where he assumed Shiro’s head was, the other meeting his lips, pushing his tongue past Lance’s lips without much hesitation. 

But then it was gone, all of it.

Like it was a dream that Lance refused to open his eyes at. If it had been a dream it was a damn good one and he’d fall back to sleep if he could.

Except he hadn’t been asleep, he’d only felt this once before. Lance’s hands going to cover his body only to feel his paladin armour around him.

“Lance…” The paladin opened his eyes slowly, not taken aback by their surroundings, he could feel in the pit of his stomach that he had somehow made a connection that had him in the Astral Plane. It was a sensation he might not have been familiar with but he certainly wouldn’t ever forget it, especially when Shiro had tried calling out to him last time.

“Wow… This is embarrassing, maybe we pissed Black, off.” He joked, unable to move closer to Shiro, he wasn’t sure he wanted to either, it was so unsettling, staring at someone you’d just been locked in a very physical embrace just moments before with, because the Lion hadn’t taken a liking to it. “Guess we should have saved room for Jesus.” The comment was mostly to himself but he could see in the way Shiro’s eyes flickered away from him that he’d heard it.

Everything felt so much clearer this time, perhaps because they weren’t in the middle of a battle, or maybe because they both had a stronger connection than previously. “You need to be careful, things aren’t as good as you think they are.” 

An odd statement to come from someone that was doing a little more than just talking with him moments ago. “Wait… I- what do you mean?”

There was a noise that he was familiar with, mild discontent, probably thinking Lance was just playing dumb. He wasn’t, he really didn’t understand the comment but he could tell that what Shiro had said was something he meant, something serious enough. “Don’t trust him. Don’t trust me.” God, who was he talking to? his sounded like it was coming out of the mouth of a moody teenager than from Shiro, how could he not trust him? He was supposed to be his leader and yet he was claiming to be untrustworthy. He was supposed to be more than just a leader to him at this point.

“Sounds weird coming out of the mouth of the guy that is-”

“-He’s not me.” He was cut off, Lance frowning in confusing, if this was supposed to be some sexy game Lance could definitively say it was a turn off. He wanted to trust Shiro…  _ Needed to. _ “Please Lance, stop depending on him.” Shiro sounded stressed, he wasn’t ordering, more pleading with him.

If this was a manifestation of his own conscience it was really shitty of him to have it be Shiro. He would have preferred Jiminy Cricket. “You’re saying this here?” He sighed, lazily making a gesture around them, the Astral Plane was so cold and empty, it stopped him from being too emotional, because a part of him was fearful that they’d get stuck in there. “If you don’t want this then you shouldn’t have used your connection with Black against me.”

The sigh that comes from Shiro made Lance flinch, he’d been trying so hard of late to avoid Shiro’s annoyance and he’d been successful but now in a place he felt more unsafe than ever it was horrifying. Perhaps if this had been caused by his connection to Red or Blue it would be easier, but this was something Lance had zero control over, he couldn’t force himself to leave either. “Lance, believe me, I can’t control it, Black can’t, but you need to distance yourself from him… I need you to do it for me. You have to protect the team.”

Protect them from what? Why did he have to be so vague? If this was an attempt at being dumped Shiro really shouldn’t have allowed himself to sound so pitiful. “So we’re stuck here?” He sighed, hoping that was what Shiro meant in saying he couldn’t control it, although the Black Lion having no control either was problematic. He’d thought Shiro’s connection with Black was stronger than that.

“Lance, I don’t want you all to get hurt. He’s already hurting you now.” This didn’t make sense, if Shiro felt that way he wouldn’t have let this continue, he wouldn’t have taken it this far. It wasn’t even about feelings, solidifying trust perhaps but Shiro knew how Lance felt about Allura and whilst Shiro admitted to being jealous he hadn’t interfered with Lance’s feelings or tried to actively create the bridge between him and Allura. Lotor and Allura had done that already.

To say hearing the way Shiro spoke to him was scaring him would be downplaying it, he wanted some way to get out to ignore what was being said. To avoid the fact that there was some truth in the matter. “Let me get out of here!” He snapped, holding himself despite sounding like a caged animal, hoping some sort of defensive approach would get him away and into the head of the Black Lion again.

There was that sigh again, less annoyed this time, but certainly not pleased with Lance. If he was to guess it was either Shiro giving up or about to double down on his efforts. “You have no idea what the Galra and Haggar’s witch are capable of. Please Lance, trust what I’m saying here. You know it’s me and that isn’t. Please- it’s up to you…” He could feel the connection was getting weaker, whatever Shiro had said was enough for him to think that the conversation was done, Lance attempting to listen for more disjointed words but getting nothing.

He wouldn’t say he awoke as much as found himself hyper aware of his surroundings all too suddenly, his body against the cold floor of the Black Lion’s cockpit, the Alteans really needed to invest in carpeting and rugs, a hand brushing against his forehead sweetly. “Shiro?”

“Are you okay?” Of course, he didn’t even confirm it was him, simply opting to check up on Lance as quickly as he could, getting the answer he probably didn’t want as the paladin shook his head blinking back tears, the emotions he’d been holding back whilst stuck in the void spilling over. “Oh my God… Lance, I’m sorry, I stopped as soon as I realised you weren’t all there.”

Lance pushed himself up, letting Shiro try and wipe away some of the tears even though more kept falling. Maybe he had allowed himself to become too attached to Shiro. “Why did you say that?” He earned a puzzled look, Lance unsure if they were talking about two different things or not. He’d certainly been all there in the Astral Plane and Shiro was attentively by his side when he’d snapped out of it. 

“I… well I just didn’t want you to think I’d done something to you when you blanked on me.”

Blanked? They were definitely talking about two different things, it was like Shiro hadn’t even been there, or perhaps he was feigning ignorance. “I believe you… I just ended up- I must have passed out or whatever because I had a weird dream.” There was no point admitting it, because it had to be a dream, Shiro was here in front of him and what had been said was a manifestation of doubt, for once not doubting himself. Lance couldn’t help but lean into the thumb that wiped away a few of his tears.

“Maybe we should get dressed and go somewhere more comfortable, I don’t mind if you don’t want to tell me.” Lance didn’t give any inclination of agreement, simply taking the clothes as they were offered to him but making no real attempt to put them on.

Deep down he wanted to talk, to understand if the Shiro here in front of him meant what he had said so many times recently or if the one in the void had been more honest with him. But he didn’t, couldn’t, not if it meant he’d ruin what had already been established, if his level of trust would be broken within an instant because of a moment of doubt.

It wasn’t healthy and it didn’t exactly feel like a safety net like when they first started but he needed Shiro on his side and Shiro had made it no secret that he needed him too. “I’m sorry.” He mumbled instead, only to have Shiro, already half dressed crouch in front of him, taking the small pile of clothes from his hands, helping him put on what he could before pressing a brief but certainly meaningful kiss to his forehead. 

“It’s nothing to be sorry about, things happen and we’ve all been busy.” Shiro whispered, being careful as he helped Lance stand, waiting as he finished dressing before opening his mouth again. “If you can’t talk about it, that’s okay, I just want you to be alright, to trust me even if that might feel hard at times.”

It certainly felt hard now. “Now’s not the time.” He mumbled, letting Shiro take his hands. He was so soft and caring with him yet seemed to be capable of devastating him if he really tried. However, Lance wanted a distraction, they were meant to be using each other to deal with their own issues right? “How about we go to your room and finish somewhere more sensible, I think Black just freaks me out a little.” He uttered, giving Shiro a small smile, hoping that other would take that as the only excuse he was going to get.

**Author's Note:**

> God I suck at tags but hey she's trying right?


End file.
